CHAPTER 6: When Mum's Stare is Law.

Dilated pupils mean different things to different people.

Shock and boredom to some, wonder and excitement to others, and in extreme cases, it could just be a genetic defect.

However, when the pupils in question belong to your Mum’s eyes, it could only mean one thing:

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”

In a room filled with NRI relatives- my respect for who depends on the size of the bag and brands of imported chocolates and multi-coloured wafer biscuits in it- gravity as a force is challenged by the magnetic power of eye contact.

The moment your fingers attempt to unwrap the packet of biscuits in full public view in response to your salivating mouth, a telepathic signal is sent to the brain.

And your washed up eyes meet Mum’s amplified pupils.

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”

Packet down. Chin down. Tears roll down.

Eavesdropping is a stepping stone to maternal policing. 

Boxed thoughts, grounded feet and a zipped mouth are the only ways to tackle these dire stare threats in populous situations.

“Babu’s daughter-in-law is a very modern girl. She has convinced Govind to move out of the house to live separately,” Pushpa aunty updates the ladies at the kitty party, while we children tuck in a few vegetable spring rolls and hara bhara kebabs along with tidbits from the Babu household.

Ideally, by virtue of being a juvenile plus-one at a ladies’ kitty party, one is expected to behave oneself and occasionally smile when he/she is reassured of his/ her cuteness by dolled up aunties. 

Alas, eavesdropping is an evil dragon.

“Aunty, but Govind is having a love affair with his office secretary..,” I proclaim, repeating Usha aunty’s conversation with Mum at the grocery shop last week.  

Taking my cue from nature's magnetism, I look at Mum before I utter another word.  

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”